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第13部分（第2页）

“Really？”　Vanessa　asked；　flattered。　He’d　critiqued　her　work　before；　but　this　felt　so　much　more　personal。

The　bedroom　setting　can　have　that　effect。

“Yeah。　But　sometimes　you’re　so　removed。　I　just　want　to　know　more　about　your　subjects。　Why　you　chose　them。　Who　they　are；”　Hollis　mused　as　the　camera　jump…cut　from　an　old　lady　feeding　pigeons　in　Union　Square　to　a　group　of　revelers　spilling　out　from　the　subway。

Vanessa　continued　to　watch　as　the　camera　shakily　followed　two　girls　wearing　matching　silver　sequined　dresses　trip　up　the　First　Avenue　L　station　stairs。　From　their　backs；　you　couldn’t　tell　how　old　they　were。　They　looked　like　they　were　searching　for　danger。

Hollis　tenderly　cupped　Vanessa’s　chin　and　pulled　her　into　him。　“This　is　what　I’ve　been　wanting　to　do　since　the　party；”　he　whispered。　She　felt　his　stubble　against　her　cheek。　They　weren’t　kissing；　but　their　lips　were　millimeters　apart。　Vanessa　leaned　in；　and　her　lips　touched　his。

Cut！

“We’ve　had　a　great　day　together；　haven’t　we；　sonny？”　The　truck　driver；　whose　real　name　was　Hank；　asked　as　he　rested　his　beefy　arm　on　Dan’s　shoulder。　The　truck　pulled　onto　the　West　Side　Highway。

Yeah；　right；　Dan　thought。　The　whole　time；　Hank　had　given　Dan　life　lessons　on　women。　“You　can　just　drop　me　off　at　Ninety…sixth　Street；”　Dan　said　hurriedly。　“Actually；　here’s　fine。”　Close　enough。

“Okay；”　Hank　said；　looking　disappointed　as　he　reached　over　Dan　to　open　the　door　of　the　truck。

“Thanks！”　Dan　yelled　as　he　slung　his　duffel　bag　over　his　shoulder　and　began　making　his　way　to　his　apartment　three　blocks　up。　New　York　was　freezing；　but　the　air　felt　redemptive。　He　felt　like　he　could　run　up　a　mountain。

He　bounded　up　the　stairs　two　at　a　time。　Maybe　it　had　been　the　outdoor　air；　but　he　barely　felt　winded　as　he　reached　the　fifth…floor　landing　outside　the　apartment。　Or　maybe　it　was　the　fact　that；　unlike　his　roommate　at　Evergreen；　who’d　hooked　up　with　almost　every　girl　in　the　Victoria　Woodhull　Vegan　Womyn’s　Co…Op；　Dan　would　never　have　to　go　through　his　life　uncertain　that　he　was　loved　and　in　love。　He　dug　into　his　khakis　and　found　his　keys；　held　on　a　simple　lanyard　key　chain　that　Jenny　had　made　one　summer　at　craft　camp。

He　opened　the　door　and　heard　the　muted　sound　of　a　film　playing　in　Vanessa’s　room。　He　couldn’t　wait　to　see　her　face　when　he　surprised　her。

“Honey；　I’m　hooooome！”　Dan　called　eagerly。　He　cracked　a　grin　at　how　simple　and　lovely　the　phrase　sounded。　He　swung　the　door　to　his　bedroom　open。

“Dan！”　Vanessa　was　lying　on　his　bed；　naked　save　for　her　red　boy　shorts　with　black　X’s　all　over　them。　But　she　wasn’t　alone。　She　was　with　a　guy。　An　equally　naked　guy。

Dan　gaped；　unsure　of　what　was　going　on。　Was　this　a　bad　joke　or　a　dream　or　some　weird　sweat　lodge　vision？

Vanessa　scrambled　out　of　bed　and　stood　up；　holding　the　blue　flannel　duvet　around　her　body。　“I　can　explain；”　she　stuttered　helplessly。　Her　face　was　flushed；　her　lips　looked　red　and　bee…stung；　and　her　dark　eyes　were　wide　and　confused。

“Who　the　fuck　is　that？”　Dan　heard　himself　asking。　He　felt　like　he　was　a　character　in　one　of　those　lame　romantic　edies　that　Jenny　loved。　In　just　a　second　he’d　find　out　that　this　wasn’t　Vanessa；　but　her　long…lost　twin；　who’d　sneaked　into　the　Humphreys’　house　to　hide　her　boyfriend　from　the　Feds。

Right。

“I’ll　leave　you　guys　alone；”　Hollis　said　bluntly。　He　shrugged　his　shoulders　and　pulled　on　his　T…shirt。　He　shot　Vanessa　one　last；　long　look；　and　then　stalked　out　of　the　bedroom　and　out　the　front　door。

Vanessa　felt　rooted　to　the　spot。　She　wanted　to　run　after　Hollis；　and　she　wanted　to　fort　Dan；　all　at　once。　This　was　very　bad。

The　understatement　of　the　year。

Dan　could　feel　the　tears　beginning　to　well　up　in　his　hazel　eyes。　He　felt　his　heart　clench。　Was　this　what　having　a　heart　attack　felt　like？

He　looked　around　for　something　to　throw。　He　needed　to　hear　something　shattering；　because　that　was　what　his　heart　was　doing　right　now。　He　picked　up　Vanessa’s　video　camera　and　hurled　it；　as　hard　as　he　could；　against　the　opposite　wall。　Instead　of　breaking；　it　bounced　onto　the　floor；　then　rolled　under　the　bed。

Art　is　indestructible。

“Fuck　you；”　Dan　shouted。　“And　by　the　way；　you　can’t　live　here　anymore！”

He　stormed　out　of　the　room　and　through　the　front　door　of　his　apartment；　slamming　the　door　behind　him；　and　hurtled　down　the　fire　stairs。　His　hands　were　shaking。　He　was　home；　but　he　felt　further　away　from　anything　he’d　ever　known。

Sometimes　home　is　where　the　heart　breaks。

that’s　what　makes　b　a　fighter

“Here’s　good！”　Serena　announced　to　her　driver　as　the　Lincoln　Town　Car　sailed　past　Nate’s　limestone　town　house　on　Eighty…second。　Normally；　Serena　was　embarrassed　that　her　agent　demanded　she　be　pr